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McLean High School’s new OpenGate security system delivered a decisive victory Wednesday, stopping a sophomore from learning for 115 minutes after detecting an alarming concentration of school supplies in his backpack.

The student, distinguishable by an “I Heart STEM” keychain, was intercepted at the entrance when scanners sounded over his metal water bottles, three-ring binder and Chromebook.

Safety and Security Specialist Stan Dard said the student approached at high speed and failed to obey a sign instructing students to walk slowly. Dard, adjusting his tactical lanyard, characterized the violation as practically an act of war.

After four attempts, the sophomore finally passed through the first checkpoint. Secondary scanners then identified another threat: a single foil-wrapped stick of Extra Spearmint gum.

Junior Will B. Late watched from a line that stretched across the parking lot and, by his estimate, into another ZIP code. He said the detained student repeatedly protested that he was going to miss an AP Chemistry knowledge check.

Security personnel instructed the sophomore to hold his Chromebook at a precise 165-degree angle above his head so the system’s artificial intelligence would not interpret his posture as threatening. The student eventually sighed and handed over a three-inch folding knife he had forgotten was in his backpack.

He was then sent to the rear of the line, where he waited another 40 minutes.

The knife surfaced only after staff had spent nearly two hours investigating what appeared to be a suspicious prototype calculator. Administrators nevertheless praised the $85,000 system as a strong investment.

Principal Rick Tayter noted that the student missed his knowledge check, a titration lab and what remained of his dignity. He also credited the morning-long pencil-case inspection with producing a 100% reduction in stabbings.

Tayter warned students who expect to arrive at 8 a.m. and reach class by 8:05 that they should prepare to return to the back of the line.

Administrators were reportedly considering a $200,000 upgrade that would make students enter the detectors alphabetically while humming the “Highlander Rumble,” demonstrating that they are not autonomous killer robots.