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Confidence can grow through setbacks, encouragement, positive examples and a new interpretation of nervous energy. But those strategies may seem out of reach when support is scarce or failure has made it difficult to keep trying.
Another path begins with something more basic: the belief that you have some control over what happens next.
Neuroscientist Ian Robertson, author of How Confidence Works, connects confidence with perceived control. Humans developed a strong need for control because it helped their ancestors navigate unpredictable environments, anticipate threats and respond to danger.
That need continues to influence emotions, thoughts and behavior. Feeling capable of shaping a situation can bring calm, while believing that nothing you do will matter can contribute to anxiety, fear or depression.
Robertson organizes confidence into four possible states:
- You believe you cannot act and that action would not change anything.
- You believe you cannot act, although action could make a difference.
- You believe you can act but doubt that it will change the outcome.
- You believe you can act and that your actions will matter.
The fourth state represents full confidence.
Why Choosing Matters
Having choices can create a sense of control. That perception makes it easier to take an initial step, then another, establishing a positive cycle in which action builds assurance.
The practical lesson is to concentrate on what you can control. The more strongly you believe your decisions can influence an outcome, the more prepared and confident you may feel.
That steadiness can also change how the body’s response to pressure is understood. Sweaty palms and a racing heart do not have to signal panic. They can instead be interpreted as energy that helps propel action.
Sort What You Can Control
One way to identify meaningful choices is the Circles of Control exercise, which draws from Stephen Covey’s circles of concern, influence and control.
The exercise uses nested circles to separate circumstances according to how much power a person has over them. The categories can be simplified as:
- No control
- Some control
- Most control
Sorting concerns this way can clarify where to direct time, money, attention and energy. It also reveals specific opportunities to make choices.
Exercising those choices can strengthen the feeling of control and, in turn, confidence. Therapists and coaches may offer additional exercises to help people focus on what they can influence, develop a greater sense of agency and build confidence in areas where it is lacking.