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Wedding season always takes me back to the modest ceremonies I attended in the 1960s and ’70s. Compared with today’s elaborate celebrations, they were Ford Pintos beside Cadillacs and Mercedes.
My own no-frills wedding in 1966 was a perfect example. My sister made my dress and veil, along with the gown she wore as matron of honor. My other bridesmaids were my best friend since eighth grade and one of my sorority sisters.
When my mother and I bought the pattern and fabric for my gown, we did the same for the bridesmaids and gave the materials to them. My mother sewed the local bridesmaid’s dress, while the other woman’s mother made hers. We did not believe that participating in our wedding should cost them money.
After the church ceremony, everyone gathered in the meeting hall for punch and cake. Guests sat in folding chairs, ate dessert and watched me open gifts before heading home.
My meticulous mother kept every record, which I still have. She was horrified to discover that the entire wedding had cost $359.71.
Modern weddings can be a completely different undertaking. Destination ceremonies may require attendants to pay for dresses, salon appointments, transportation and lodging. When my daughter served as a bridesmaid, the bride selected Vera Wang gowns for all seven attendants.
The bridal styles have changed, too. In my day, brides generally chose demure gowns and hoped to appear virginal as they walked down the aisle, regardless of reality. Today’s designs can feature dramatic thigh-high slits, strapless necklines and silhouettes that closely follow every curve.
Receptions are also more likely to be catered events at upscale downtown hotels or restaurants reserved for the occasion. Photographers may then take the newlyweds to local landmarks for posed portraits before the couple leaves for a honeymoon in the Caribbean, Asia or another faraway destination.
The result can be a luxurious celebration—and an exhausting bill that may leave the parents feeling nearly bankrupt.
For many of us in the old-school generation, the greatest thrill was simply being married. It meant freedom from curfews and from parents monitoring our every move.